


Solid Gold Angel Blade

by mpanighetti



Category: Angel: the Series, Blade (Movie Series), Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Parody, Rule 35
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8616490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mpanighetti/pseuds/mpanighetti
Summary: An Angel/Blade fic (not an “Angel Blade” fic). Intentionally silly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> \- I don't know very much about Blade* but he kills vampires so I've probably got enough to wing it.  
> \- This is a joke meant in good fun; I made a pun out of the phrase "angel blade" then realized that such slash fiction didn't appear to yet exist, thus invoking Rule 35. I have great respect for this community and the works that have come out of it, and hope no one infers otherwise based on how stupid this story is.
> 
> *Case in point: earlier today I confused Blade for Spawn. Still probably good though.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends were killing lots of vampires one late night in Sunnydale. Despite what one might expect, this scenario was not unusual, and it wouldn’t seem to set this night apart from any other. That is, until a portal opened in the sky above the cemetery.

“A portal!” Xander exclaimed, probably appending one of his characteristic quips to provide much-needed levity and humor.

“No time for your quips, Xander,” sighed Willow, who determined with her witch powers (she’s a witch) that the portal was magical in nature and that something powerful was likely to pass through it in due course.

“Well if it’s something bad, I can probably kill it with a wooden stake,” mused Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Xander chimed in: “Even if it’s not a vampire, that’s generally a fatal injury for most things, supernatural in nature or otherwise.”

“And it would probably do the trick!” yelled a voice through the portal. The unknown speaker then leapt down from the portal onto the ground to make his presence known (beyond the part where he yelled in advance).

It was Blade!

“I’m Blade! I’m a vampire hunter but I’m also part vampire, so some vampire-hurting things hurt me too but others don’t.” I think he’s okay with crosses and garlic?

“Well if you kill vampires you’re okay in my book!” Buffy exclaimed, shaking hands with the former stranger. “I’m Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and obviously vampire-hunting is a thing I do too.“

Blade stiffened, then turned suddenly, brandishing whatever weapons he normally uses (something with blades probably). “If that’s true, how do you explain him??”

The “him??” Blade was referring to was Angel, a good guy vampire who had been fighting alongside the others the whole time. He hadn’t yet said anything because he’s more of a quiet brooding type rather than one to make quips like Xander. Angel had a mean vampire face from the fighting they were doing before and hadn’t yet turned it into a good guy face, making his normal scowl more menacing with fangs.

“Well I do make some exceptions,” Buffy cooly replied while winking. “Blade, this is Angel. He’s a vampire but he got his soul back with a gypsy curse, but it ended up being a good curse for him because he’s basically a normal person with super strength and just feels guilty about killing people from when he was evil.”

“I AM guilty for doing those things!” Angel retorted. “Now I try to make up for it by fighting evil. Which I certainly hope YOU aren’t.”

“That sounds a lot like my story probably is, killing my own kind to make amends. It’s a big conflict and makes me a cool antihero,“ said Blade, lowering his weapons once he determined that Angel wasn’t a bad guy.

Seeing the gesture, Angel turned his face back into a good guy face. “That makes two of us. Some of my enemies are people who either sired me (turned me into a vampire) or I sired (turned them into a vampire).”

“Seems like we have a lot in common,” Blade acknowledged, fully sheathing his weapons and reaching his hand out toward Angel to invite a handshake. Angel paused for a moment before deciding to return the favor and took his hand in return.

The two stood in silence a moment, their hands intertwined, each vampire testing the strength and resolve of the other. They felt the resistance that only a supernatural being could offer, but also something more. They felt a vulnerability borne out of lives lived in solitude, from two worlds but never belonging in each. They felt that shared loneliness, that need to connect with another person that could never be satisfied because there wasn’t anyone else quite like them.

Until now.

“We do have a lot in common,” Angel replied uneasily. He hadn’t expected to feel such a kindred connection like that for someone he just met, but he felt like their stories followed strikingly similar paths.

Blade felt it too, but he didn’t say anything about having a lot in common because he had already said that. Instead he nodded. In that moment, each man saw only the other, the world around them falling out of focus, taking on a muted hue.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer broke the silence. “Glad to see you boys getting along so quickly, but we should probably find more vampires to slay.”

“Go on ahead, Buffy,” said Angel, his eyes remaining interlocked with Blade’s. “Blade and I will be right along.”

Buffy nodded knowingly and signaled to her friends to follow her lead. She knew Angel could take care of himself and figured he wanted to better know Blade before truly considering him an ally.

But really they just wanted to fuck.

The End


End file.
